What's the point of learning more stuff?
The mysteries of the universe hasn’t been calling on me lately. I feel like knowledge is knowledge, what’s the point of gathering more of it? It’s so easy to turn off my brain and collapse in front of the TV and let Friends (the sitcom) absorb me - instead of reading all the articles I’ve gathered or the books in my collection.
Normally I love learning stuff.
One of the most transformative things I ever learned was when I was a teen, I was watching a TV show called “Lie To Me”. It’s about a facial expression expert who can deduce the true intentions behind people’s words. He had an edge that put him above all other body language specialists, it’s something called “micro-expressions.” They are facial expressions that last for only a fraction of a second. They occur because we have a culture of concealing our emotions, but they still need to leek out. So people are not aware of doing them.
This isn’t sci-fi. There’s legit science to back it up. Paul Ekman studied people from different cultures and isolated tribes, he found that there are seven universal facial expressions. They are part of our biology. So they mean the same thing across all cultures.
Happiness
Contempt
Sadness
Surprise
Disgust
Anger
Fear
As a nervous, shy teen I found this fascinating. I found it hard to pay attention and follow along in people’s conversations. But when I learned about this I went and bought Paul Ekman’s book “Telling Lies,” in which he explains how you can learn to see the expressions and use them to understand people better.
I started paying close attention to people’s faces while trying my best to be discreet about it. I must have creeped people out a bit. But it helped, I felt like I started to understand people better. At times I felt like Sherlock Holmes. It gave me an objective while listening, I listened carefully to everything everyone said. People were puzzles for me to figure out.
Teachers made great study subjects since they’re mostly oblivious to your intense gaze. A history teacher flashing a micro expression of disgust while talking about Hitler might imply his hatred for nazis (good teacher).
In conversations with my best friend we would study each other’s faces, if our facial expressions would hint at something more going on, we would confront each other about it. It led us down tunnels of complex emotions that we had never explored before. It was friendship at its finest.
When I graduated I became more secluded, I spent most of my time applying for jobs. I went on a job interview at a studio who made online casino games, I couldn’t help pointing out that the facial expressions on their mascot character was incorrect (it didn’t express sincere joy, which really bothered me). Aside from that I was mostly drawing at home. I didn’t see much people, which meant my super power became mostly useless. I lost the habit. Now I rarely think about micro expressions, it doesn’t interest me like it used to.
I would love to learn something that could give me the same kind of kick. But it’s rare to stumble on something that can change my way of seeing the world as much as micro expressions did. I felt like I had levelled up, like I had become a better version of myself.
Perhaps I’m too precious about what I allow to change my way of seeing the world. Knowing micro-expressions is scientific and ‘useful’, it feels prestigious to pick it up. Right now I’m more interested by what’s going on in the universe of Friends. The trashy jokes and the laugh track make it feel less sophisticated. But it cheers me up! It always puts a smile on my face when Chandler and Joey care for their duck and chicken, or when Phoebe sings “smelly cat” and everyone pretends to like it. It’s the pinnacle of sitcom writing.
Friends and micro-expressions both make me feel like I know people and how they feel, but in different ways.
I enjoyed the puzzles micro-expressions gave me, but I felt like I was intruding peoples privacy. ‘Friends’ on the other hand gives me the answers straight up, and I’m invited. It’s like being let into the fantasy of knowing people for free.
The significance of being able to see micro-expressions wasn’t that it felt like a super power, or that I had become a better version of myself. It was because it made me feel a bit closer to people, although in a slightly wicked way. I think I’m hearing the mysteries of the universe calling on me again, but now I want to bring my friends along.
